During their late teens to late twenties, most people leave the family home and start their own lives. The reasons for the move and the strength of the family bond will determine whether or not this is a smooth transition.
Don't panic if your child says they want to move out. Instead, remember that this is an unavoidable process and that you’re responsible for listening to what they have to say and offering your support.
Your child doesn’t want you to suffer over their decisions, so no matter if they're going to escape a family conflict or live independently, you should consider the following paramount pieces of advice.
Help them by helping yourself
If your baby is moving out and that hurts you, you might experience the empty nest syndrome. However, do your best and protect your children from your overwhelming feelings, because you must focus on theirs instead.
When they’ve left and are established in their new homes, understand and embrace the following emotions:
- Embarrassment. You might feel like your child is moving out too early, or fret about what people think. Focus on their well-being and use common sense before listening to anyone’s judgments.
- Resistance. You may not want your kid to move out before they’re married or have every aspect of their life put in place. However, remember that moving out can empower some youngsters to take their life into their own hands.
- Anxiety. You may at times feel like your child won’t make it on their own or have trouble paying their bills or cooking.
- Sadness. Recognize when you’re experiencing the empty nest syndrome - the feeling of grief when your baby leaves you alone.
Ensure they’re making the right choice when choosing their new nest
There’s a plethora of factors to consider before choosing a new home for your baby, and most of the time, you have a say in the process, too. However, real estate market research takes time and requires knowledge and being up-to-date. To make the best decision, you and your youngster can seek professional help, for estate and letting services are widely available and can be contacted right away. Whether you want an apartment in the heart of a new city or a student accommodation, estate agents help you pick the best option available.
Take into consideration the fact that youngsters nowadays won’t stick to a place. Instead, they’re switching dwellings for many reasons:
- For better jobs or job opportunities
- To find the love of their life
- To find a good place to start a family
- To escape a family conflict
- To be closer to their university.
Real estate agents help families make a sound choice in a city crowded with apartments, no matter if youngsters are paying rent to be independent or live with their friends.
Put some emergency plans in place
It’s normal to want to move back in with you, only to leave a few years later. Therefore, you and your child must think of a plan B for when things don’t go as planned. Let them know they can call you anytime and keep notifications on for them. Give them your work colleague’s number so they can find you anytime, and similarly, take their friends’ numbers.
Money is among the most important and sensitive aspects. No matter your financial situation, your kid should always have money for a taxi, so if they’re in danger and have run out of money, you should be the first person they ask for a transfer for an emergency ride home.
Another emergency plan you two must be aware of is creating a coded message for when they want to come home but are embarrassed to tell their friends. For example, they can call you to check the well-being of a sick grandparent, and when they do it, you know it’s time to ask them to come home.
And the biggest tip before you tell your baby “go live on your own” is to create a strategy to help your kid cope with bad moments by saying “no” to alcohol and drugs. Money and freedom can sometimes make youngsters confused and take them down the wrong path, so ensure they’re reaching out to you, no matter if they want to have a glass of wine or talk to you about a “bad experience they’ve had last weekend”.
Talk common sense into them
They must know beforehand what to do and what to be wary of. Moving out is a gradual process that starts at home, and depending on the way they’re taught, establishing a new home can be a success or a failure.
There are some basic things they should do to stay safe when alone, so ensure they’re not forgetting the following aspects:
- Pay attention to their surroundings, stick to well-lit areas, remove their headphones, and do not talk on the phone while crossing the street.
- Ask for help if they feel in danger by yelling and catching attention.
- Never get into a car if the driver has consumed alcohol or drugs.
- Always let you know if there’s a change of plans and if they want to return home.
Solve arriving problems
It’s common for youngsters to want to move out after a fight or because they feel like they don’t have enough space. Some move in with friends and others with their partners. If they’re seeking freedom or to get away from family issues, it can be beneficial to reach out to a therapist or any kind of professional help.
Communication is key. If you disagree with your child’s reasons for leaving, talk things through, listen to their needs and discuss your concerns with them. You must understand each other’s points of view in the first place. Then, you can focus on creating a budget and finding a place to live.
To see your kid cut you off from their life is a gut-wrenching experience. The hurt and bewilderment you’re experiencing can turn to anger, so instead of lashing out at them, you should focus on improving yourself, understanding their need to flee, and helping them pick the most appropriate home.
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